


Dave Strider, Demon Hunter

by SHERlockedintheimpala



Category: Homestuck, Supernatural
Genre: I really don't know where I'm going with this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-16
Updated: 2013-07-17
Packaged: 2017-12-14 14:58:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SHERlockedintheimpala/pseuds/SHERlockedintheimpala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider was sure he had seen it all- right up until some black-eyed weirdo had tried to kill him. Enter Team Free Will, and let insanity follow closely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dave Strider, Demon Hunter

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose I should warn you now that I am going to thoroughly abuse the phrase "did some acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle." The only thing I own pertaining to either fandom is a Supernatural tee-shirt I bought at Hot Topic, which I also don't own.

Today has been a weird-ass goddamn day.  
Now, don't get me wrong, I've seen some freaky shit. Shit so freaky it makes freaky look like the kind old suburban granny who walks her three dogs at 8:00 every morning and 5:00 every night.  
But today is probably among my weirder ones.

My day was supposed to go like this: Wake up, pester Egbert, draw some Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff comics, spin some sick beats, drink apple juice, and go to bed. I got to pestering John before my entire day got fucked up by some weirdo with black eyes trying his hardest to kill me. Would've been pestering Lalonde, but she got adopted by some gay British detective and his husband and is now doing god knows what, probably with dead bodies and shit. And I could've talked to Jade but she was off somewhere in a blue police box that's a time machine or some shit.  
What?  
No, dude, it's not because I like John or anything.  
I swear, everyone else was just busy!  
Shut up.  
Anyway, I had been just about to log in to Pesterchum, when I flew across the room and into my wall hard enough to knock the wind out of me and lost consciousness.  
When I woke up, the first thing I saw was that the guy standing in front of he had black eyes. No color, just pure black. The second thing I noticed was the bowl thing he had under my chin. The third thing was that I was suspended on the wall, with nothing keeping me there. And the fourth was that oh hey this guy has a knife.  
With a creepy ass grin, made only creepier by the complete lack of color in his eyes, knife guy said, "Say your prayers, kid!"  
This was it. These were gonna be my last words.  
I had to make this good.  
"Dear God, please give the creepy guy in front of me better breath. Amewhatthefuckingshit."  
That last part was due mostly to the fact that two random guys kicked my door in, which caused some weird chain reaction that got rid of whatever was holding me onto the wall. It was then that I realized that oh hey I can almost touch my ceiling and oh hey look it's my floor.  
The last thing I remember hearing was the taller of the two guys talking in some random language, (Exorcismus te, omnis immundos spiritus, omnis satanica potestas...) while the shorter guy ran up to me and shouted, "Hey, kid, you alright?" I was going to reply with something along the lines of, "Of course I'm alright! Some random stranger just tried to kill me with a knife, and then two other strangers crashed into my room. I've never been better in my life!" but I blacked out before I could say any of that.  
Oh, yeah, and before that happened, once the taller guy was done talking in the weird language, a huge cloud of black smoke flew out of the guy who tried to kill me.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
I woke up in the back of a really old car, with the two guys up front. In any normal situation, I would be worried that I had been kidnapped and was now going to have my guts be sold off to the black market or some shit. But that was the least of my worries, which just shows you how shitty of a day I've had.  
"What the fuck was that?" I asked.  
The guys gave each other a confused glance, for some unknown reason. "Hey, looks like he's up," said the shorter blond guy in the driver seat. "Demon."  
"Sorry, I think I misheard you. Did you just say I got attacked by a demon?"  
"Yeah," said the taller one, who for some inexplicable reason reminded me of a moose.  
"A demon. Demons exist."  
"What are you, a broken record? Yeah, a demon," the driver said.  
"Um. Okay. Moving on, how the hell did you guys find me in tiWHATTHEFUCKINGSHIT."  
The last part of that sentence was because out of nowhere, a random guy in a trenchcoat appeared next to me in the back, which definitely did not cause me to scream like a baby who just got their favorite toy taken away and replaced by a wash cloth. Not even a good washcloth, either. A ratty, torn up wash cloth that had been bleached and put on the spin cycle when the tag clearly said "wash on delicate."  
"It's just Cas. No need to fly off the handle," the driver guy stated.  
Oh no. That was exactly the wrong thing to say to me right then.  
Shit was about to go down so hard it would reach China and fall into a low orbit.  
"Oh, sorry, I just got attacked by something I didn't know existed until less than five minutes ago, then I was kidnapped by a couple of guys who I don't know, and right when I thought shit couldn't get any freakier, some random dude in a trenchcoat appears OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE in the back seat next to me, and then I'm told not to fly off the handle. Too late, because I've already done an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle."  
Everyone was silent for a little while.  
The driver spoke up. "Damn, you'd have thought Dirk would have taught his little brother something."  
"He probably didn't want Dave to have to deal with the hunting life, Dean," said the moose guy.  
What?  
"Wait, how do you know my brother?"  
"Should we tell him, Sam?" the driver, who's name was Dean, apparently, asked the guy who I decided to call Sam the Moose from then on.  
"Tell me what?"  
Mister Moose turned around and looked at me. "I'm Sam, this is my brother Dean. We hunt everything paranormal. So does your brother. That's why we were so surprised when you freaked out about Cas. We thought you knew about all of this stuff."  
"Wait, what? How long has Bro been doing this?"  
"A few years. Damn good hunter, though," Dean said.  
"How did he get into this?"  
"He witnessed your parents being ki-" started Trenchcoat Guy of Random Appearances, but Dean and the Moose shouted, "CAS!" at the guy simultaneously, which made him shut up.  
"Being killed by what?" I asked, which warranted a strange look. "C'mon. I know they died badly. I saw pictures of the bodies. I just want to know how."  
The Moosiest Moose to Ever Moose sighed. "Ghost attack. They were just back from the hospital with you when a ghost, well... you know the rest."  
"Wow."  
That was really all I could say just then, wasn't it? I mean, I had just found out what I had been wanting to learn ever since all the other kids at my school asked why I didn't have a mom or a dad. Add that to all the paranormal crap, and stunned into silence was I.  
I spoke up again a couple minutes later.  
"My bro hasn't been home in a few weeks. Something got him, didn't it?"  
Dean sighed. "Yeah, kid, probably."  
Damn, was I happy just then that I had my shades on. That was the first time in a really long time that I had actually cried.  
"So where do I go now?" I asked after a little while.  
"Well," Sam of the Moose Clan started, "when you're related to a hunter, you wind up getting caught up in the paranormal, whether you like it or not. You don't have anywhere to go, and you don't know how to defend yourself against the stuff that's probably going to target you."  
"Where are you going with this?" I asked suspiciously.  
"We're trying to figure out if you need a place to stay," Dean said, tired of The Moose's explaining.  
"How do I know you're not just a few pedophiles kidnapping some teenager?"  
"Dude, do you really think we would be this elaborate if we were?"  
A few minutes of banter, discussion, and negotiation, it was decided. I was gonna stay with these guys I had never met before today, because they saved my life and answered questions that I hadn't really known if I wanted the answers to.  
I closed my eyes and curled up in the back seat of the car.  
I had a long drive ahead of me.

**Author's Note:**

> The fic with Rose being adopted by a very familiar consulting detective can be found here: http://mackiewrites.tumblr.com/ and is written by one of my best friends ever.


End file.
